I've been thinking a lot about my life lately.
about the past few years
the events
the memories
the changes
My last trip "home" made me realize a lot of things.
Sacramento is no longer home.
moving away was the absolute best decision I've ever made
I need to rediscover myself because I haven't been able to recognize myself in years.
For three years I was holding onto something that I thought was right
when in reality it was never right and it never lasted.
I was in denial about a lot of things
I was blinded by a lot of things
I was sacraficing parts of myself for no good reason
I was letting myself become exactly who I didn't want to be.
Every advancement I had made in who i was becoming within the last few years was trampled by the repeated setbacks I fell into.
Now that i'm away from it all I am able to move forward and am no longer in fear of losing myself as a consequence of someone else's actions.
I still don't have it all figured out but I know where I came from and know I never want to be there again.
I will never let someone else make me feel small, weak, not good enough or repeatedly lower my self esteem again.
Moved on. Moving forward. NEVER looking back.
You're either with me from this point on or you're not with me at all.
I'm done with games. I'm done with backstabbers. I'm done with shady people.
I'm done being walked all over. I'm done putting up with shit. I'm done being second best.
I'm happier than I've been in so long and i'm so happy with the way things are going.
I've never been busier either. I love it.
And i'm proud that I'm out here living my life and accomplishing my dreams.
Thursday is going to be the start of something BIG.
Notice the "muah" logo on the flyer below.
That's me bitches.
M.U.A.H (make up and hair)
M.U.A.H (make up and hair)
Myself, my sister, and a few of my girls from school are in charge of makeup and hair for this event.
it's a big deal, at an exclusive club.
celebs. press. red carpet.
we are the exclusive hair and makeup team for Blive Couture and there are already FOUR more shows booked for us after Thursday.
If you ever doubted me, said I couldn't do it, didn't think I'd love it in LA, didn't think I'd make this my life... this is my big FUCK YOU.
3 comments:
I'm so proud of you =)
i thought about you today and thought of how i miss you and how stoked i am for you and all the great things you were doing.
i was even bragging about you at work. ha i'm a nerd.
i'm so bummed you and i didn't get to hang out this weekend. i was really looking forward to it
i guess i gotta just come visit you!
i am so proud of you as a person. i believe that you and i are sometimes similar. i've looked up to you and now that i see you've fallen and picked yourself up again i admire you more now. it's been hard for me to focus at home and i want some time away from home and it's hard for the people i love to understand why i want to get away. i dont intend to run (but sometimes that is true, when it gets bad) but i want adventure. i want a new chapter. people in my life dont understand that and sometimes want to protect and i've finally found the courage to say i want to be free. there is a sensation when you realize your flaws and what you have accomplished. when you feel great about yourself. i'll be there to listen when you need someone to just talk to but i wish i was sharing the same feeling with you. i want to fly to l.a. in the summer and not care about some of the people back home or macys. spend time away from paying bills and saving money.
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