Make Yourself

So I just had a complete crying breakdown while i was on the phone with my mom
so many things are getting to me right now
it just all kind of built up and i needed to let it out
i've been keeping a lot of stuff to myself lately and it's been hard for me.

anyway-
today Caitlin and I did I See Stars' new music video.
originally we were just going to do the makeup for it, but we ended up being in it.
like legitimately being in it because they decided not to use the other girls that had chosen to be in the video.
haha
it was awkward because it was a spur of the moment thing but hopefully it turns out alright.
we just shot some stuff down on Hollywood Blvd... where the tourists hangout. haha
We just had to laugh and hangout with a few other people and just basically pretend we were just all friends kickin it in Hollywood..
I was sexual harassed, verbally, by an Elvis impersonator in front of the Chinese Mann Theatre..
we had to pose with all the people dressed up in costumes out there and he was saying the most sexually explicit, disturbing-things to the 3 of us girls.... haha like SERIOUSLY.
I was ultra creeped out.
other than that, it was a chill day
the band was nice, mostly highschool-aged guys.
Music video #5 complete!

Caitlin and I were presented with the opportunity to work on Silverstein's new music video next week.
The only catch is it's being filmed in Canada.. and we would have to pay our way there
I was able to talk my parents into paying for my flight though, and the crew is all staying in a cabin together
so i don't have to worry about expenses for that.
MTV is going to be filming behind the scenes footage while were there, so that's another reason why i wanted to go.
hopefully it means the video is going to be a big deal
they're a big band, so it's a pretty awesome opportunity.
and right now i'm just trying to do everything I can to build my resume
the A Static Lullaby video has gotten a lot of recognition and things are starting to get busy for Robby,
which means things are going to be busy for us.
this is a career where I have to put in money to eventually make money
so this is one of those situations.

Hopefully it all works out.
Things are getting really busy.
This weekend/next week will be insane, but hopefully FUN!

tomorrow is my only free day
i have to get some shit done and get things ready
saturday I'm going to Bakersfield to see Mozart Season and party at Caitlin's
Sunday the boys are staying with me
and then if all goes as planned, Monday-Thursday I will be in freezingfuckingcoldsnowing Canada haha

I'm still in an off mood from my mega cry sesh
and a few other things aren't helping my mood
sometimes I really miss having a "go to" person to talk to about shit.
whatevs.


i'm gonna try to sleep off this sad panda mood.

goodnight sugarplums
-S.