Make Yourself

There is an unsettling feeling that I've been carrying around with me for the past two weeks or so.
The feeling that i'm waiting for something to happen, but praying that it doesn't at the same time.
There have been a few people in my life that I have had strange, unexplainable connections with.
Brianna, Caitilin, and him.

Caitlin and I say and think the same things at the same times CONSTANTLY
literally almost daily something happens where we feel like we're reading each other's minds.
She is someone I can be around non-stop without problems.


Bri and I are connected through the core of our souls.
We know each other down to the roots.
She's my go-to life advice person.
She knows what to say, what I need to hear and be told (even if it's not what i WANT to hear)
We have the ability to feel vibes off each other and know when something is wrong, or when we need to be there for each other.
We've been talking a lot the past few weeks because she can feel that something is going on with me.
I didn't even have to seek her out, she called me and was like "what's going on, i can sense something is going on lately."
things like that amaze me, and she's always right.
Her intuition is amazing.
I can't even explain how glad I am to have her back in my life.
we "broke up" for a while.. (due to misunderstandings, and me believing lies that were fed to me)
but we realized that we need each other.

and the other one-
since the very beginning there was a freakishly strong connection.
doing/thinking/saying the same things.
I've also noticed i have the ability to "feel" him around me, not in a physical sense.
I feel vibes, usually I don't feel them or notice them.
but whenever I am noticing that I do, it usually leads to some sort of communication.
for the past couple weeks I've been able to feel him, strongly.
whether it's him talking about me, thinking about me, playing out memories, recalling feelings/emotions, etc..
whatever it is, i feel it happening.
and in turn it interferes with my thoughts/feelings etc.
and I've had extreme amounts of anxiety/nervousness.
I feel this looming/lurking feeling, like he's debating whether or not to break the silence.
If i am wrong, then it would be the FIRST time.
Not only are there the vibes, but going off of the never-ending cycle, around aug-sept is when things start picking up between us normally.
I'm asking, please don't, not yet.  i will not reply, i don't have the desire to change things.
I'm not ready, neither of us are.
Please let me out of your head and your heart, or let the pieces you have of me remain buried.
It affects me too much when you're actively thinking about me.
Things are the way they are for a reason..
Maybe it's sad, maybe it's better this way for now or maybe it's the only way.
I'm not ready to make amends, or hear an apology i've heard a million times before.
Maybe next year will be a fresh start, or maybe it won't.
time will tell, as it always does.