Make Yourself

it feels so weird to say that, it'll definitely take some getting used to.
It's awesome but at the same time, now what do I have to look forward to? haha
I finally feel like a legitimate adult
and I'm sure I'll feel even more grown up after we move into our new place.
It's going to be so strange to have half of my family in a different state.

This weekend has been awesome.
definitely not disappointing.
Nathaniel made sure to get me good and wasted and took me out at midnight on Thursday.
Thursday-today have been great.
nothing too out of hand, but I made sure to have a good time no matter what.

on another note:
that saying that history repeats itself is definitely true.

I knew it would happen, I just wasn't sure when
talk about predictability. god damn.
how many times has this situation occured under suuuccch similar circumstances.
old habits die hard..or in this case, not at all?
it is what it is.
I'm not looking for anything more
for the first time I actually mean that and am not saying that and secretly hoping differently.
for the first time in the past few years I am not being held back,
and it's absolutely liberating.
I am not hoping, wishing, or holding my breath about things.
For once I'm looking at it as anything but a promising situation.
because right now, I don't want that even if I could have it.
and even though it always sounds like a good idea, the saaammee thing happens in the end.
so this is just it for now,
no strings attatched, no rules, no expectations, no trying,
just letting life unfold as it does
holy shit, it was worth the wait. haha

and it's fucking fun

don't think
just do.
I leave in 2 weeks.
I am making the most out of my time here.

21 feels like a good year for me..
or at least it's off to a fantastic start.

the spark and passion in my life I had felt slipping away is coming back slowly.

by doing nothing at all
you help bring out the best in me.
plain and simple.

until next time,

make yourself <3