Yesterday's post was written in a moment of absolute weakness and vulnerability.
which makes me wonder if the things we say in times like that are the truth,
or if are they really just actually moments of weakness?
maybe temporarily seeking things we know we can find and have found comfort in.
I don't know,
and honestly, I don't need or want to know.
All I do know is last night helped.
It's amazing the effect human touch can have on a person.
a simple run of fingertips down an arm,
an open palm on the side of a sleeping face
and intense calmness all around.
I officially have Strep Throat.
I'm shocked I even caught it
I can't remember the last time I was sick.
It's got to be over 3 years ago.
I don't even feel all that bad today,
not compared to yesterday.
although it does feel like I've got shards of glass in my throat every time I swallow. :-x
Worst timing ever to get sick,
seriously.
I move to LA ten days from today.
I'm so glad the date got pushed back, as we were supposed to be moving originally in TWO days.
I haven't done enough here to feel like I'm ready to leave.
I'm not ready yet.
I NEED these next 10 days, and I need to savor them.
I'm still ready to move, don't get me wrong
I'm still ready to move, don't get me wrong
I just need a little more time here.
I finally watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind today
and I absolutely know the feeling of wishing you could erase someone from your memory.
I'm almost sure I would have done it at least once over the past 3 years if given the chance, and that terrifies me.
Our memories make us who we are and mine have absolutely changed my life
whether for the better or the worse,
i don't know.
but I don't know who I'd be today without everything I've been through.
and I know the feeling of knowing things didn't work out with someone and that you've gone through hell and back with them,
yet it's still something you can't help but fight for.
can I say been there and done that? more than several times.
but that's life man.
without sadness we wouldn't know happiness and that's exactly what makes it all worth it.
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
until next time,
make yourself <3
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