Make Yourself

greetings from Sutter Roseville
i'm alive
although it hardly feels that way.
surgery went well yesterday
I've been attempting to sleep although a hosptial is not a place very condusive to such a luxury.
someone is in here every couple hours to check my vitals or give me more medicine through the IV.
I've been on morphine, motrin. tylenol, codiene and everything in bewteen along with some anti-biotics.

my face is so swollen that I can't even recognize myself
and my bottom lip is like 15times it's normal size.
I am wired shut and between the swelling and pain, unable to speak anything more clearly than mumbles.
I am so congested from the tubes that were in my ears, nose and throat during surgery that I am having trouble breathing.
there is enough pressure built up in my head to make me feel like I've been traveling in airplanes all day..
I currently have a oxygen mask over mouth to help me breathe in what little air I can.

I'm starving and have to consume liquids through a syringe with a rubber hose at the end of it.
but currently I have to focus so much on breathing that I am not able to drink at the same time without having an anxiety attack.

I'm being sent home with tylenol w/codiene, liquid vallium and some other shit.
I'm being discharged from here around 3 if i'm feel ok enough..
we'll see.

I was able to push my swollen lips apart long enough to see my teeth though
and instantly started to cry.
happy tears of course for the perfect little teeth and bite I've been waiting my whole life for.

my saving grace has been my mother
she hasn't left since I've been out of surgery and stayed the night with me here take care of me.
I wouldn't have been able to do this without her.

the next few days are gonna be long and hard..
*insert sexual joke here*
haha
just because I feel like shit and look different doesn't mean I'm not still the same dirty minded girl I always have been.
haha

I think that's all for now
just got another dose of pain meds
so hopefully the codiene will knock me out for another few hours.